You know who you are - and I hate you.

I need to vent. Big time. There’s no way I’ll ever tell you this in person, but if you happen to read it and want to talk, then spit out your words. I’d love to know what’s going through that head of yours! So, here goes:

I hate you. Every single, minuscule thing that you do. You pretend to be something that you’re not. I see right through you. You say that you don’t want to lose my friendship. You say that you consider me one of the best friends you’ve ever had. What a load of CRAP!!!! If you considered me “one of the best friends you’ve ever had”, you wouldn’t ignore me!!! I hate to break it to you, but you can’t act like me telling you I had feelings for you never happened and that you never met me. It did happen. You did meet me. There’s one big problem I’m having trouble figuring out. Seeing the way you act towards people, especially towards me now, I wonder how the hell I ever liked you in the first place. Moreover, I wonder why I even told you that I liked you. Well, at least in telling you, I saw your true side, and saw why you have so many damn boy problems. Want to know why you have so many problems? Let me clue you in.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret – You are THE most SHALLOW person I have ever met. All those times you had a guy problem, who was there to help you out of the pathetic mess you had created in your life? Who was there to give you heartfelt, genuine advice? Who was there when you rejected that advice, took your own advice, and got continually shot down? I WAS!!! I was the one that kept condoling you, over and over. I was the one that told you that they were idiots, told you that they didn’t know what they were missing. Boy, do I realize now that I was wrong.

They were right to get away from you. I hope they left the ever-loving state just to get away from you. Your biggest problem is that you are so damn shallow that you just go for the first thing that catches your lust-filled eye. You don’t care about personality, heart, intelligence (since you have none of your own), or anything else that makes up a person. All you care about is how they will look draped over your damn arm, and how much you can show off to people. Well, I hope that you are very happy with the mess that you’ve created in yourself. If you want to come back, I am always open. But, I will not – I repeat, WILL NOT – continue to let you treat me the way you treat other men – as an object of your shameless flirtation.

I'm This Guy

-I'm the guy that is himself, no matter what.

-I'm the guy who would do anything to make his girl happy.

-I'm the guy who'll show up at your work just to see you and to say I love you.

-I'm the guy who will do the littlest things to show her that I care.

-I'm the guy that will spend a whole day looking for the perfect birthday present.

-I'm the guy who is nice to everyone, no matter who they are.

-I'm the guy that would die to have a decent girlfriend.

-I'm the guy that won't settle for the girl who thinks the world evolves around her.

-I'm the guy who sacrifices the time from his friends just so I can be with you.

-I'm the kind of guy who will cuddle with you on the couch so I can be closer to you.

-I'm the guy that will kiss you with meaning.

-I'm the guy who just wishes that she cares.

-I'm the guy that will give my sweatshirt to her when she's cold.

-I'm the guy that will call or text you.

-I'm the guy that will just hold you so I can be closer to you.

-I'm the guy that shows how much he cares and gets nothing back.

-I'm the guy who will kiss her on her forehead.

-I'm the guy that hugs her from behind.

-I'm the guy that has thought that maybe this could be the one.

-I'm the guy that laughs at her jokes.

-I'm the guy who is just looking for the one and only and having a rough time of it.

-I'm the guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.

-I'm the guy who would die for her so she wouldn't feel one ounce of sadness.



I'm the guy you don't love.

Ode to the Nice Guys

I came across this rant the other day and it captures EVERY single thing I have wanted to say to a lot of girls for a long time.

Ode to the Nice Guys
(This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal)

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and complaining about what jerks guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl isn’t fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it.This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due.

Many girls claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of dateable men in the world, and they expect their "too nice to date" male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to date, make out with or sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.