The beginning of the end? Maybe.

Hello, constant readers!

I've decided that I am going to start using this blog as an outsource of myself in which to write. I've made the decision that I need to start trying more new things in order to become a more independent person. So, in this blog, you'll most likely read about my life...the things that happen to me on the daily, my gripes about work, family, money, friends, and whatever else crosses my mind.

So, where to begin? I guess I could write a little about what has been going on recently, since I have been using this blog basically as a place to vent before today. I'm a 22 year old male college student. I guess you could say I'm a loser of sorts. I have no car, no girlfriend, and I live at home. I work part time to pay my college tuition, but that's about all I can afford. I help out with bills, I cook, do laundry, and basically help keep the house running, since it's just me, my mom and my sister.

Now, what's been happening lately. School got out just over a month and a half ago, and I'm going insane. I love learning so much that when I'm not in the classroom I go nuts. I've been filling my time by reading, composing, hiking and other such activities, but it's not enough. There is a pretty good chance I won't be able to go back to school in the fall because I can't pay my school bill off fast enough to register for classes.

In other news, I think I'm losing my best friend; this is part of the reason I've decided I'm going to try to do more things independently. We used to be closer than brothers. 10 months ago, he got a girlfriend; (see my last post regarding my feelings on this) Since then, we have been drifting farther and farther apart, even if he tries to deny it -- which he has. We don't talk like we used to talk, or share things with each other anymore. The days of having hours-long conversations about life, love, the universe, God, Science and other topics that require deep thought are long gone. What I'm left with is a shallow friendship of sorts, one where we talk but don't talk; share but don't really share; remain friends even though the changes that have taken place continue to drift us further apart in the ocean of life. I think that sooner rather than later I will be on my own as far as friends go. I make a LOT of acquaintances, but I make very few extremely close friends. If this chapter of my life friendship must close, as it seems prone to do, I would hope that my next best friend will be my wife. I still love my best friend like a brother, but I just can't give into a one-sided relationship anymore; I'm tired, and I'm weary.

Moving on...

When it comes to girls, I'm pretty much stuck. I've always been a lot more mature than guys my age. While other guys are casually dating, I'm at the point where I'm looking for the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. In a few years I'd like to start a family and be teaching somewhere, and be creating a life with that one person whom I am meant to be with.

Since I've rambled on quite enough now, I think I'll stop at this point. If anyone has read this blog at all, I'd love your feedback. Heck, shoot me a message even if you don't have any feedback. Sometimes it's better just to know that someone, somewhere, is hearing what you have to say.

Until next time, I'm listening.

~Blazing Tuba~