An open-ended letter.

I've always been better at writing than I have at speaking. I don't know whether it's an inherent trait, or if it's something I've just picked up as part of my personality over my lifetime. I've always found it easier to clearly express exactly what I'm thinking if I write it out. With that being said, this open ended letter says what I cannot say out loud.


To the person whom this is written:
You know who you are.

I've never been good at these kinds of things. Sometimes I don't know why I speak before I think. Too often, I do. It gets me in to tumultuous situations such as this. I've done it again this time.

Now don't get me wrong. I am interested in you, as a friend. But I think that all this time I've been trying to push the interest to something more than a friend, when I've known all along in my heart of hearts that it was never meant to be more than that. This whole time, I've been lying to myself. I never meant to hurt you, or to make you cry. I hope that I haven't done either of these things, or that I never will. But I just don't see this going anywhere, and I'd be kidding myself if I tried to continue this relationship romantically.

Everything I ever said to you was the truth. I do think you're beautiful. I think you're an amazing person. I just don't think you're the person for me. Perhaps musical artist Michael Tait said it best:

"What I wanted to say
Never came out the way
I wanted it to,

What I wanted to say
Only got in the way,
I never meant to hurt you,
But I didn't have a clue.

I hope that a time will come when you can forgive me for being such a coward and a horrible person. If and when it does, I still want to be your friend. But, if you don't want me in your life, I will understand.

I'm so sorry.